Hello again, and good morning! I hope that you are enjoying the festive season, I know I am. Even though Christmas can be hectic, it’s also truly the most wonderful time of the year. I am so proud and excited to be sharing with you my Christmas Misfits, SO enjoy Toof! Find out her connection with Christmas below – and how she doesn’t exactly fit in!
Well, where do I start?! Hello to the reader, hello, hello, hello! It’s me! Toof – as in the Tooth Fairy! Hi! Hey! Hello guys! Aloha! Nǐ Hǎo, Guten Tag, Hej! Salutaaaaations!
Okay, sooooooooooo. I’m the fairy the never gets noticed. Like not at all, not one bit.
I’m sitting down in the Head Mistresses office writing down this incident report and I have to, just have to, tell you all ah-bout it.
SO, if you haven’t noticed, which you probably haven’t!, I’m invisible. No one wants to hang with me. Not brace face dorky, clumsy, freek-a-zoid Toof with her BAD hair and BAD style and LISP and tacky CROWN (not my words, the Jewelettes.) The Jewelettes run everything around here. They’re the Queen-bees. They’re everything I’m not. They gleam, they glisten, their pretty little wings flutter around like a sunlit-filled daydream, smelling like rainbows.
When everyone thinks of fairies, they think of glitzy, pretty and glamorous, right? The exact breed the Jewelettes are? Well, I’m clearly not that breed of fairy. I don’t fit in.
I never fit in anywhere actually, which is why it was so difficult for me come to Placing. Placing happens the year after your graduate Misses Mulberries Academy for Restructuring Fairies. I had, like, zero friends and limited human and bodily contact, (except for Princess Cauliflower Buttercup Snickerdoole, my pet teacup elephant/pug, who’d rather bite off my hands than snuggle up to me). Soooo, because I had, like, zero friends, and a grouchy elephant-pug who never wants to spend any time with me (no one does), I passed at the top of my class (because loner = intelligence). But come Placing, the Keepers of the Kingdoms (old, wise fairies, you get the gist!) couldn’t decide what to do with me.
Where would I go? What would I do? What would my service be to society? Even they don’t think I belong anywhere. So anyways, they took one look at the mass amount of metal on my teeth and decided “You will be the fairy of the teeth.”
Fairy of the teeth? What. No. No! Nonononononono. NO! I couldn’t be. I tried my hardest to speak up and say something – tell them that I must belong somewhere else – but I couldn’t find my voice. I probably would’ve just lisped and spat everywhere anyway. So sadly that’s what I’ve been Placed, and that is what I’ve become. Some cruel, sick twisted fate which destroyed what little reputation I had – which wasn’t much, but at least I wasn’t where I’m at NOW. The Tooth Fairy has ugly teeth herself! What a joke. I am a joke. A z-grade bottom-of-the-barrel GEEK.
Anywho! Anywhooooo! Look. So some bad stuff happened today. Big stuff, big bad stuff. I kinda, sorta, might have lost it at Nieema, the leader of the Jewelettes and the protégé of the Fairy Godmother. Each fairy year Godmother selects a Placed fairy into her esteemed Bachelor of Wish Fulfillment, which she personally teaches. Eurgh. Of course she got it. Said candidates spend fifty long fairy years (1,000 human years) studying the course with other students also handpicked by Godmother. Anyway! Nieema was so, so, SO nasty to me today – so nasty that even Princes Cauliflower agrees – and today was the day that I finally snapped. Just a little… Okay… Maybe more than a little.
I, uh, cut her head off, okay? BUT! But. It was just for payback. She didn’t die or anything – fairies can’t die unless a human’s imagination dies. ANYWAY! So I just, you know, pretended to kill Nieema. I completely removed her body from her head, and, for the first time in my life, people looked at me like I was someone. My existence was noticed, anyway. That’s got to count for something, right?
So now I’m writing this letter to explain my actions, what made me snap. I did this because Nieema is not a nice person. You agree, right?! I thought this would be obvious?
She called me ugly. Ugly… UGLY?! I can put up being called a brace-face, I can put up with being called a geek, I can put up with Princess Cauliflower being my only friend, but I WILL NOT put up with someone calling me ugly! That kind of thing hurts my feelings, you know? All of the things that they pick on me for is on the outside, but ugly comes from within and I am pretty on the inside. I am a good fairy! I don’t hurt others, I don’t judge others, not like how they judge me. I am not ugly. I’m just not what they want me to be. I can’t help that, no matter how much I wish I could.
No one gets it, or me for that matter. Except for Rudolph. Dolph gets bullied just like I do. They laugh at his big red nose (SO not nice!). We met just recently. I was at the North Pole collecting a baby Elf’s tooth – little thing had JUST lost his first molar! – and I saw Dolf all by himself cowering in the corner. Well, I couldn’t just let him cry! Why was no one comforting him?! So I flew over and – not only did he notice me! – but he wanted to talk to me. To me! No one wants to talk to me, not even Princess Cauliflower – she only growls. So Dolf and I have been talking ever since – about bullies, about our jobs and about how lonely we are. We’re really becoming friends. He makes me not feel so alone all the time. He doesn’t make fun of my hair, my clothes, my lisp. So when I’m done here, when I’m finally dismissed, I’ll probably go off and talk to him about this. He’ll get it. He’ll probably laugh at what I did to Nieema. She deserved it, he’ll say. Dolf always gets it.
Thanks for reading, whoever you are (probably some wise old fairy who is, at this moment, deciding how to punish me). I wonder if this confession will get to the humans! If it does: don’t forget to brush and and and annnnnnd floss twice a day!
The Tooth Fairy
facebook: Add me! Toof Fairy
instagram: Queenofteeth.Toof (I take good pictures).
tumblr: I love tumblr! /everydayimflossing
twitter: tooffairytweets (I’m so addicted to Twitter lol!).
snapchat: / princessbrushalot (I’ll snap you back every time).
myspace: / qUeEn.ToOf mYsPaCe4EvA
bebo: / allteethnoshade (lost my password, but ADD ME!)
~ Smile! It let’s your teeth breathe ~
- The next Christmas Misfit debuts soon on The Knight Life.
- This narrative was edited by my wonderful editor: Kayla Marie Murphy. Contact: email@example.com for any inquiries.
- Creative Credit for this image goes to Kushal Singh, whose Instagram you can follow at: www.instagram.com/kaleidoschopikush. Thank you so much Kushal for this wonderful collaboration!
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